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" I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet. "

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" I looked at game show hosting as the bottom of the totem pole, one step away from infomercials. I never watched them myself. However, it's been a lot of fun. "

" Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now. "

" I don't miss the economic insecurity, the living paycheck to paycheck. "

" When the show's in production, we work for three weeks at a time and then take a week off. "

" As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed. "

" I am happy that I ran the half-marathon, but to me, just running and saying that I finished a race isn't enough for me. I want to run the race as best as I can. Working out for pants size isn't enough. I need a goal or a race to get back on the treadmill every day. "

" What also helps our show is that we never take ourselves seriously. "

" Living in Hollywood, you can get disconnected from everybody. You can feel like you are the only one. "

" After all, game shows are not like working in a coal mine. "

" When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show. "

" If you're wearing a Bluetooth thing and you've got that thing on your belt, you are working for somebody else. You are not the guy in charge. That's a really good social status indicator. "

" Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make. "

" The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can. "

" There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game. "

" When I play poker, I don't like losing the pot. "

" I learned how to believe in myself. Learned how to set goals, you know, self help books man. I just read every single one I can get a hold of, and I still do. "

" But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy. "

" Everybody in Hollywood loves symbolic gestures. "

" The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible. "

" Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you. "

" I just try to get people to laugh - I'm not trying to change the world or anything. "

Change The World

" Why is everybody afraid of going to Heaven? You want to be here with the smog and the sin and bad people and the war? Or do you want to be in Heaven, sitting next to Jesus, you know? "

" I don't do one show and wish I was doing something else. "

" I was just sick of being fat, you know? You get sick of it. It just really, it's a tiring lifestyle to have. "

" I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. "

" I'm competitive at everything. "

" I'm the kind of person that likes what I'm doing when I'm doing it. "

" I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped. "

" The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name. "

" I am never out there just jogging for the heck of it. I never do that. I start to run with a goal in mind, whether it's a certain time or certain distance or a specific heart-rate goal, and then I am done. "