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" Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. "

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" The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. "

" When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people. "

" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "

" The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. "

" When in doubt tell the truth. "

" Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. "

" Golf is a good walk spoiled. "

" Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

College Education

" When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. "

" Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. "

" When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. "

" A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. "

" It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. "

" Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. "

" Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. "

" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "

" Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. "

" The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. "

" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "

" Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. "