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" When in doubt tell the truth. "

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" I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. "

" The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. "

" If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. "

" Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. "

" I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. "

" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "

" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. "

" It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. "

" My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. "

" Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. "

" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "

" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. "

" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "

" It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. "

" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "

" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "

" The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. "

" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "

" All right, then, I'll go to hell. "

" Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. "

" How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. "

" Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. "