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" Network television has been attempting to lure viewers for years with its low-interest programming only to have those viewers discover later that their brains are bankrupt. "

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" Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Something

Among

Moral

" The U.S. tax code was written by A students. Every April 15, we have to pay somebody who got an A in accounting to keep ourselves from being sent to jail. "

" Freedom is for fun. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Fun

Freedom

" Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. "

" If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' "

" You can't destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America's elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you're doing us a favor. "

" The difference between American parties is actually simple. Democrats are in favor of higher taxes to pay for greater spending, while Republicans are in favor of greater spending, for which the taxpayers will pay. "

" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "

" China is trying to become America without democracy while America is trying to become France without cheese calories. "

" The whole melodrama of the Middle East would be improved if amnesia were as common here as it is in melodramatic plots. "

" Cars let us out of the barn and, while they were at it, destroyed the American nuclear family. As anyone who has had an American nuclear family can tell you, this was a relief to all concerned. "

" The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. "

" Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. "

" A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. "

" Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. "

" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "

" The average IQ in America is - and this can be proven mathematically - average. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Proven

Average

" Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it. "

" Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. "

" Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. "

" Obama, in pursuit of power, has been as greedy and irresponsible as any Wall Street tycoon in pursuit of money. "

" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "

" People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. "

" Regulation creates a moral hazard. "

" The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. "

" There are plenty of problems in the world, and doubtless climate change - or whatever the currently voguish phrase for it all is - certainly is one of them. But it's low on my list. "

" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "

" You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. "

" Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt. "

" Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let's hope so. "