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" One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. "

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" Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "

" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "

" To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. "

" A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. "

" It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. "

" I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. "

" No one can disgrace us but ourselves. "

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" Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. "

" Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. "

" Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. "

" The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. "

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" Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. "

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" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "