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" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "

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" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "

" All right, then, I'll go to hell. "

" I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time. "

" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "

" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. "

" Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. "

" Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. "

" Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "

" It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. "

" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "

" Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. "

" The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. "

" Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. "

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "

" The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. "

" In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. "

" But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? "

" The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. "

" The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "