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" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

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" When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. "

" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "

" I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. "

" Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. "

" If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. "

" Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. "

" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "

" When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. "

" The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. "

" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "

" The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. "

" Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. "

" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. "

" The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. "

" The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' "

" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. "

" It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. "

" I never let schooling interfere with my education. "

" Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. "

" Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. "

" There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. "

" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "

" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "

" Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. "