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" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

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" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "

" Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. "

" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "

" Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

" Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. "

" Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "

" Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. "

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? "

" Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. "

" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "

" All generalizations are false, including this one. "

Generalizations

" The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. "

" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. "

" I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. "

" Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. "

" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "

" Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. "

" Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. "

" Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. "

" When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. "

" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. "

" Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. "