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" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

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" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. "

College Education

" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "

" Prosperity is the best protector of principle. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. "

" The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. "

" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "

" Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. "

" We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world. "

" The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. "

" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "

" I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. "

" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "

" It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. "

" I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. "

" Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. "

" Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. "

" When in doubt tell the truth. "

" Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins. "

" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "

" Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. "

" Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. "

" I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. "

" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "

" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "

Getting Started

" I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one. "

" Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. "