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" Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. "

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" I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves to get by sometimes. I don't believe that anymore. Children of privilege can be just as talented and clever as anybody else. "

Craig Ferguson

People

Children

" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "

" I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available. "

" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "

" I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel. "

" I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian. "

" It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television. "

" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "

" The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful. "

Craig Ferguson

Upset

Awful

" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "

" My pilot's license. I'm proud of that. "

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

Craig Ferguson

Young

Right

" I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. "

" When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. "

" I am probably a pseudo-intellectual. "

Craig Ferguson

I Am

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. "

" I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. "

" All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. "

" When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. "

Craig Ferguson

Drunk

Together

" I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck. "

" Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. "

" I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. "

" A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre. "

" There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. "

" I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure. "

" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do. "

" It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it. "

" I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk. "