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" I realized women and humor were linked very closely. "

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" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

" You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. "

" Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. "

" I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. "

" All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. "

" I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure. "

" I don't get emails from my corporate overlords. "

" I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck. "

" I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck. "

" I am probably a pseudo-intellectual. "

" I'm careful with money. "

" I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. "

" Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. "

" I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. "

" The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman. "

" I am reasonably happy. I didn't find Jesus or anything like that. Part of it is that I just feel that I could go home. I did not feel like that for a long time, but I could go back now. "

" There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. "

" The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes. "

" The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful. "

" A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre. "

" I came to America, and I made good. It's an old story, but it hasn't been told in a long time. Usually, it's, 'I'm an immigrant, I came here and got persecuted.' My story is I came here, I worked hard, and it worked out all right. So it's still available. "

" Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. "

" Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. "

" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "

" When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. "

" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "

" A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself. "

" I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mean that at all. It means that you're afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right. "

" When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. "