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" Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. "

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" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. "

" Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. "

" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "

" The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "

" Golf is a good walk spoiled. "

" The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. "

" Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. "

" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "

" Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. "

" Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. "

" Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. "

" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. "

" A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. "

" Necessity is the mother of taking chances. "

" Don't let schooling interfere with your education. "

" One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. "

" The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. "

" When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. "

" I can live for two months on a good compliment. "

" Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. "

" The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. "

" Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. "

" All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. "

" We have the best government that money can buy. "