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" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

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" Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself. "

" A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. "

" My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. "

" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "

" Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved. "

" Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. "

" What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. "

" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. "

" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "

" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "

" The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. "

" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "

" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

" The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. "

" I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. "

" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "

" Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. "

" Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. "

" A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. "

" Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. "

" There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. "

" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "

" It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. "

" Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "