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All Quotes by author - Judith Martin

" Being polite does not mean being mummified. "

" Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. "

" Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution. "

" Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me. "

" Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world. "

" Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. "

" First. I began my career as a copy girl. and the White House coverage, for example, was in the then-Women's section. So it was social coverage. It wasn't news, although we often got rather startling news out of it. "

" For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. "

" Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette. "

" Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress. "

" 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty. "

" Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue. "

" I am a traditionalist, and I'm an innovator. Most of what I do is to weigh change and legislate to the best of my ability on what should change and what should not. Do I have a respect for tradition? Of course I do. Do I have a blind belief in it? No. "

" If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached. "

" I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures. "

" Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not. "

" I try to behave myself, and I succeed. "

" It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. "

" Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes. "

" Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one. "

" Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards. "

" My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible. "

" Obviously I'm going to be polite, so nobody has anything to fear from me. "

" One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work. "

" Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not. "

" Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children. "

" People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous. "

" Presents are symbolic. When you give them in your personal life, they should show that you are paying attention to the person to whom you're giving them. "

" The greater the controversy, the more you need manners. "

" The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it. "

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