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" Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution. "

Judith Martin

Small

Morality

Glory

Related Quotes:

" People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous. "

Judith Martin

You

Whatever

" I try to behave myself, and I succeed. "

" The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it. "

" One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work. "

" Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not. "

" Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me. "

Judith Martin

Signing

Off

" First. I began my career as a copy girl. and the White House coverage, for example, was in the then-Women's section. So it was social coverage. It wasn't news, although we often got rather startling news out of it. "

" Presents are symbolic. When you give them in your personal life, they should show that you are paying attention to the person to whom you're giving them. "

" You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter. "

" Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue. "

" I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures. "

" We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility. "

" I am a traditionalist, and I'm an innovator. Most of what I do is to weigh change and legislate to the best of my ability on what should change and what should not. Do I have a respect for tradition? Of course I do. Do I have a blind belief in it? No. "

" We're now seeing email that people thought they had deleted showing up as evidence in court. You can't erase email. As that becomes more commonly realized, people will be a little wiser about what they type. "

" My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible. "

" You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do. "

" The greater the controversy, the more you need manners. "

" Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. "

" The mistake people keep making is that if they find a wonderful new tool, like email, they have to give up all others. They don't. You have simply added another very useful means to your communications repertoire. "

" Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress. "

" Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one. "

" For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. "

" Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children. "

" Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes. "

" Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world. "

" Obviously I'm going to be polite, so nobody has anything to fear from me. "

" Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not. "

" Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette. "

" When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation. "

" We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. "