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" Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. "
Judith Martin
Force
Discreet
Immorality
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" We're now seeing email that people thought they had deleted showing up as evidence in court. You can't erase email. As that becomes more commonly realized, people will be a little wiser about what they type. "
Judith Martin
Seeing
You
Thought
" First. I began my career as a copy girl. and the White House coverage, for example, was in the then-Women's section. So it was social coverage. It wasn't news, although we often got rather startling news out of it. "
Judith Martin
House
White
Career
" Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not. "
Judith Martin
Love
Say
Political
" Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. "
Judith Martin
Problem
Worry
Behavior
" My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible. "
Judith Martin
Children
Rude
Sorry
" When a society abandons its ideals just because most people can't live up to them, behavior gets very ugly indeed. "
Judith Martin
Behavior
Ugly
Society
" Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children. "
Judith Martin
Language
Parents
Children
" One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work. "
Judith Martin
Advertising
You
Work
" We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society. "
Judith Martin
Must
Spontaneous
Fresh
" I try to behave myself, and I succeed. "
Judith Martin
Try
Behave
Myself
" You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter. "
Judith Martin
Letter
You
Real
" Being polite does not mean being mummified. "
Judith Martin
Polite
Being
Does
" Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards. "
Judith Martin
Work
Find
Home
" Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world. "
Judith Martin
Just
Etiquette
Even
" There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. "
Judith Martin
Class
America
Middle
" Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress. "
Judith Martin
Mean
Face
Honesty
" Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one. "
Judith Martin
New
People
Out
" I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures. "
Judith Martin
Rules
Principles
Manners
" You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do. "
Judith Martin
Right
You
Everything
" It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. "
Judith Martin
Good
Help
More
" Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes. "
Judith Martin
Pressure
Learn
Wishes
" The greater the controversy, the more you need manners. "
Judith Martin
You
Controversy
Manners
" 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty. "
Judith Martin
Honesty
Name
Life
" People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous. "
Judith Martin
Like
You
Whatever
" Hypocrisy is not generally a social sin, but a virtue. "
Judith Martin
Sin
Hypocrisy
Virtue
" Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not. "
Judith Martin
Last
Rules
People
" For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. "
Judith Martin
You
Anything
Fool
" We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility. "
Judith Martin
Responsibility
Job
Know
" Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette. "
Judith Martin
Freedom
Etiquette
Work
" The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it. "
Judith Martin
Language
Realize
Need