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" 'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty. "

Judith Martin

Honesty

Name

Life

Related Quotes:

" The greater the controversy, the more you need manners. "

" Freedom without rules doesn't work. And communities do not work unless they are regulated by etiquette. "

" I am a traditionalist, and I'm an innovator. Most of what I do is to weigh change and legislate to the best of my ability on what should change and what should not. Do I have a respect for tradition? Of course I do. Do I have a blind belief in it? No. "

" Email is very informal, a memo. But I find that not signing off or not having a salutation bothers me. "

Judith Martin

Signing

Off

" Being polite does not mean being mummified. "

" Chaperons don't enforce morality; they force immorality to be discreet. "

" If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached. "

" You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do. "

" We already know that anonymous letters are despicable. In etiquette, as well as in law, hiring a hit man to do the job does not relieve you of responsibility. "

" Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality; what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution. "

" Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress. "

" Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did, even I wouldn't subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world. "

" It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. "

Judith Martin

Good

Help

" Etiquette is all human social behavior. If you're a hermit on a mountain, you don't have to worry about etiquette; if somebody comes up the mountain, then you've got a problem. It matters because we want to live in reasonably harmonious communities. "

" One of the big no-nos in cyberspace is that you do not go into a social activity, a chat group or something like that, and start advertising or selling things. This etiquette rule is an attempt to separate one's social life, which should be pure enjoyment and relaxation, from the pressures of work. "

" I make a distinction between manners and etiquette - manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures. "

" Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children. "

" The mistake people keep making is that if they find a wonderful new tool, like email, they have to give up all others. They don't. You have simply added another very useful means to your communications repertoire. "

" Obviously I'm going to be polite, so nobody has anything to fear from me. "

" You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter. "

" For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. "

" There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. "

" First. I began my career as a copy girl. and the White House coverage, for example, was in the then-Women's section. So it was social coverage. It wasn't news, although we often got rather startling news out of it. "

" Over the last couple of decades, the personalization of the office changed dramatically... there's an informality people often take for the absence of rules - which it's not. "

" I try to behave myself, and I succeed. "

" Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards. "

" My children did not go through a stage of being rude to their parents. I'm sorry if that sounds incredible. "

" The language of clothing is high symbolism and we all, in moments where we need to know this, realize it. "

" People read informality as, 'Do whatever you feel like,' and whatever you feel like might be disastrous. "

Judith Martin

You

Whatever

" When people start hurling insults at you, you know their minds are closed and there's no point in debating. You disengage yourself as quickly as possible from the situation. "