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" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "

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" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "

" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "

" Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. "

" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "

" A good listener is usually thinking about something else. "

" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "

" Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper. "

" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "

" Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. "

" A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. "

" Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble. "

" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

" Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. "

" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "

" There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. "

" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "

" A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. "

" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "

" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "

" It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about. "

" All the world loves a good loser. "

" Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. "

" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "

" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "

" Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. "

" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "