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" Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. "
Kin Hubbard
Kicks
Applause
Being
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" Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. "
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" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "
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" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "
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" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "
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" The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "
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" A good listener is usually thinking about something else. "
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" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "
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" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "
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" A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. "
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" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "
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" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "
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" A loafer always has the correct time. "
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Correct
Always
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" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "
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Store
Anything
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" It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "
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" Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "
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Agreeable
Guest
" If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation. "
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" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "
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Ready
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" All the world loves a good loser. "
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" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "
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" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "
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Government
Look
Long
" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "
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Without
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" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "
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Ignore
Fresh
Boy
" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "
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" Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. "
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Credit
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" It's the good loser who finally loses out. "
Kin Hubbard
Good
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Out
" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "
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" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "
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" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "
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Up
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Spirit
" After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school. "
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Him
Long
School