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" Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper. "

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" All the world loves a good loser. "

" Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. "

" No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. "

" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "

" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "

" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "

" Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. "

" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "

" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "

" Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable. "

" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "

" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "

" A good listener is usually thinking about something else. "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "

" I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity. "

" Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "

" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "

" Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count. "

" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt. "

" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "

" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "

The Hardest Thing

" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "

" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "

" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "

" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "

" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "