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" A good listener is usually thinking about something else. "

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" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "

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" All the world loves a good loser. "

" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "

" There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "

" Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "

" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "

" Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family. "

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" There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. "

" It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about. "

" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "

" After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school. "

" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "

" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "

" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "

" Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. "

" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "

" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "

" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "

" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "

" The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "

" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "

" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "