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" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "
Kin Hubbard
Ready
Fool
Everything
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" Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet. "
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Nobody
Where
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" Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt. "
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Benefit
You
" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "
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Lack
Often
Mistaken
" No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. "
Kin Hubbard
Speech
Woman
Alone
" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "
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Store
Anything
Losing
" A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. "
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Lot
Turkey
Days
" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "
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" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "
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Good Night
Night
Rest
" Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil. "
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Less
Peace
War
" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "
Kin Hubbard
Singing
Worst
Mother
" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "
Kin Hubbard
Kind
Turn
Music
" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "
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Lot
Men
Will
" Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. "
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Home
Goes
Long
" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "
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Money
Fellow
Thing
" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "
Kin Hubbard
Money
Love
Enough
" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "
Kin Hubbard
Optimist
Fellow
Going
" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "
Kin Hubbard
Government
Look
Long
" Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause. "
Kin Hubbard
Kicks
Applause
Being
" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "
Kin Hubbard
Life
More
Insurance
" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "
Kin Hubbard
Entertain
Only
Some
" Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "
Kin Hubbard
Nobody
Agreeable
Guest
" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "
Kin Hubbard
Game
Used
Today
" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "
Kin Hubbard
Pet
Goldfish
Feel
" Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best. "
Kin Hubbard
Home
Best
Good
" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "
Kin Hubbard
You
The Hardest Thing
More
" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "
Kin Hubbard
Government
Something
Servant
" A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. "
Kin Hubbard
Almost
Many
Pays
" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "
Kin Hubbard
Weather
Nature
People
" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "
Kin Hubbard
Either
Nobody
Two
" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "
Kin Hubbard
Own
Out
Just