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" I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. "
Paula Deen
Funny
Laugh
Haters
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" I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies. "
Kristen Stewart
Work
Funny
Talent
" Movies don't look hard, but figuring it out, getting the shape of it, getting everybody's character right and having it be funny, make sense and be romantic, it's creating a puzzle. Yes, having been a writer for so long, I have an awareness of when things are going awry, but it doesn't mean I know how to fix them. "
Nancy Meyers
Character
Long
Puzzle
" I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. "
Rose Kennedy
Old
Funny
Me
" I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. "
Audrey Hepburn
Like
Dance
Face
" With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. "
Kristen Wiig
Improv
Listening
Trying
" I failed to make the chess team because of my height. "
Woody Allen
Height
Team
Because
" When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. "
George Burns
Funny
Only
Sea
" Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. "
George Bernard Shaw
Laugh
Life
People
" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "
Fred Allen
Religion
People
Funny
" Life is hard. After all, it kills you. "
Katharine Hepburn
You
Life Is Hard
Funny
" Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. "
Joey Adams
Funny
Grow
You
" To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was so bad at hiding it. To me, that's what's really funny - people who think they're doing a great job of hiding stuff, and it just keeps leaking out. "
Harry Shearer
Me
Funny
Great
" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "
J. Michael Straczynski
Want
You
Writing
" I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. "
Steve Martin
Head
Hate
Funny
" In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings. "
Josh Zuckerman
Performance
Cute
Funny
" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "
William Lyon Phelps
Succeed
First
Find
" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "
Laura Benanti
Child
Empathy
Funny
" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "
Mark Ruffalo
People
Time
Say
" If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time. "
Michael J. Fox
People
Say
Time
" My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. "
Barry Marshall
Difference
Funny
You
" I love the funny and sweet moments I have with my cats, Jake and Frank, so I'm honored to be celebrating these moments at the Catdance Film Festival. "
Hannah Simone
" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "
David L. Wolper
Think
Roots
Me
" If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. "
Abraham Lincoln
Me
Bring
Coffee
" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "
Will Ferrell
Lot
Funny
Hill
" We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species. "
Peter Dinklage
People
True
Country
" All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. "
Rickie Fowler
Day
Work
Think
" I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny. "
Jim Carrey
Funny
Support
Stupid
" What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. "
F. Sionil Jose
Realize
Write
Funny
" I realized I was gay in the shower one day with Barbra Streisand. It happened while I was lathering, rinsing, and repeating with Pert Plus. As I was belting out the chorus to my favorite song from 'Funny Girl,' 'Oh my man, I love him so, he'll never know...' it hit me. "
Ross Mathews
Day
Song
Love
" Too much agreement kills a chat. "
Eldridge Cleaver
Agreement
Chat
Funny