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" If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. "

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" Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up. "

" There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. "

" 'I Love You, Man' was kind of funny. "

" My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. "

" I love every minute of fatherhood, staying up all night, changing nappies, kids crying, I find it really funny and inspiring. It connects you to the world in a new way. "

" I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issues. "

" He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. "

Raymond Chandler

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "

" Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. "

" The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. "

Gilbert K. Chesterton

" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "

" The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness. "

" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

" My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell. "

" It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are. "

" It's funny, because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images. "

" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "

" I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do. "

" I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny. "

" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "

" Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. "

" I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. "

" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "

" Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining. Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are dramatic. Sometimes they are just beautiful. "

" If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. "

" I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. "

" I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. "

" I like doing comedy, I like doing drama. Naturally I like to do, I like doing dramas, I like conflict, and when I do a comedy, you know, I've found that, like, romantic comedy is the trickiest one, because often it's neither: it's not romantic and it's not funny. So, like, I like a comedy that's biting. It's biting humor or really quirky humor. "