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" Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was. "
Don Rickles
Days
Fun
People
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" I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important. "
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Friends And Family
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" They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities. "
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" I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. "
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" I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit. "
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Sell
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" Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "
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" I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me. "
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Care
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" I never went out looking for glory. "
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" If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance. "
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" I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies. "
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Forty
Accountant
Years
" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "
Don Rickles
Soul
School
Life
" You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it. "
Don Rickles
Throw
Your
You
" My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances. "
Don Rickles
Day
Wife
Off
" I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months. "
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Rest
Picture
Souls
" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "
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High School
New
School
" Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones. "
Don Rickles
Phones
Who
Who Cares
" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "
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" My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas. "
Don Rickles
Eye
Mother
Man
" You've got to be able to sell yourself. "
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You
Able
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" Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion. "
Don Rickles
Opinion
Kings
King
" In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license. "
Don Rickles
Gaming
Hunting
American
" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "
Don Rickles
Why
Star
Name
" My mother was a Jewish General Patton. "
Don Rickles
General
Mother
Patton
" When I was a younger guy doing comedy, it was a big struggle. Promoters canceled me out of clubs left and right when I called somebody a dummy or a yo-yo. Then they realized I was different. "
Don Rickles
Me
Struggle
Comedy
" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "
Don Rickles
Humor
Attitude
Personality
" An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings. "
Don Rickles
People
Insult
Title
" The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now. "
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Days
Old
Now
" I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried. "
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Navy
Last
Me
" There's a difference between an actual insult and a friendly jab. So I don't think I'm offensive onstage. "
Don Rickles
Friendly
Think
Jab
" Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts. "
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Lot
Nice
Burn
" I used to work over a bar. That was - there was no stage. I stood over a tiny bar. Louis Prima, rest his soul, he worked there. I was the guy that filled in when he was off the stage. "
Don Rickles
Stage
Used
Work