Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings. "

Related Quotes:

" I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know. "

" I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.' "

" When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!' "

" I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game. "

" Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. "

" Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh. "

" Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star. "

" I do situations and make fun of authority and life. "

" My life was in Montreal years ago. Best food in the world. "

" When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. "

" In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license. "

" Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich. "

" To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic. "

" I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II. "

" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "

" I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room. "

" Compared to what comics say today, I'm a monk, but in those days, it was unheard of to make fun of people like I did. Of course, they exaggerated how outrageous I really was. "

" You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter. "

" I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child. "

" Nobody ever dared with Frank, because he had such mood swings, and you never knew how he was going to react. But I could tell the minute I saw him that he was going to be in my corner. "

" I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies. "

" If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. "

" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "

" I can get an audience screaming in Las Vegas and say, 'Barbara, that was a great show,' and she'll say, 'Would you please hurry up? We have dinner reservations at 9:30.' "

" To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it. "

" They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities. "

" I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys. "

" You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it. "

" The young comedians always ask me, 'What's the secret for staying around?' I tell them, 'There is no secret - just stay around. Longevity is the most important thing.' "

" I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy. "