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" They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities. "

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" Honestly, I didn't realize it - all of a sudden, I was 90. The years skipped by quickly. When it happened, I said, 'Where did the time go?' "

Don Rickles

Time

Realize

" My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas. "

" At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather. "

" I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II. "

" My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances. "

" I don't say I was the first, because, who knows, maybe there was a guy out in Minnesota doing it before me. "

" I still have drive, but everything is relative. "

" An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings. "

" I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried. "

Don Rickles

Navy

Last

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.' "

" Among my friends, I'm not a little Boy Scout, and they love my humor, thank God. "

" I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh. "

" You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter. "

Don Rickles

Fighter

Fight

" I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that. "

Don Rickles

Personality

Habit

" I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy. "

" When I'm onstage, I'm acting. "

Don Rickles

Acting

Onstage

" I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.' "

Don Rickles

Walk

Party

" I want to be a dog, but I'm a pussycat. "

Don Rickles

Dog

Want

" It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that. "

Don Rickles

People

Say

" Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is. "

" I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on. "

" Frank Sinatra. Hey, Frank, I saw you in 'The Pride and Passion,' and I want to tell you the cannon was wonderful! "

" You know what's funny to me? Attitude. "

" Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend! "

" I write my own tweets. "

" My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king. "

" So, I'm on the satellite every Sunday, no matter where we are, with the Rams. Turn on the satellite; got to watch the Rams. "

" You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up. "

" My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared. "