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" When I got out of high school, I wanted to be an actor but was getting a lot of rejections. I was getting rejected by life. My mother, God rest her soul, told me not to quit. "
Don Rickles
Soul
School
Life
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" When I was a younger guy doing comedy, it was a big struggle. Promoters canceled me out of clubs left and right when I called somebody a dummy or a yo-yo. Then they realized I was different. "
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" The highlight of my career was being at the inaugural gala of Ronald Reagan, and I owe that to Mr. Sinatra. "
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" Once in a while, when I'm alone, I think about my age. I think, 'How many more years do I have on this earth?' But I can't really conceive of dying. "
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" To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic. "
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" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "
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" To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled. "
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" I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning. "
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Job
Night
" I still have drive, but everything is relative. "
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Still
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" Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment. "
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Entertainment
Vegas
" Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. "
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Kid
Insurance
Business
" Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore. "
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Who
Adore
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" If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day. "
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Men
Success
Wife
" I don't practice or write stuff down - everything I do onstage was just made up before I went on. "
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Write
Down
Everything
" Somehow, in my head, I don't think I'll die. I know that everybody dies, of course. I just think that it'll never come to me. It's crazy, but there it is. "
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Die
Crazy
Head
" Now when I'm not working, I don't really hang out with the young comics. "
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Really
Out
Young
" It takes many years to be a great comedian. "
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Many
Great
Comedian
" Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap. "
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Like
Empire
Building
" When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last. "
Don Rickles
Everyone
Stand
You
" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "
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Why
Star
Name
" The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson. "
Don Rickles
Miss
Him
Johnny
" Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh. "
Don Rickles
People
You
Bad
" My mother was a Jewish General Patton. "
Don Rickles
General
Mother
Patton
" Johnny Carson was king of the kings, in my opinion. "
Don Rickles
Opinion
Kings
King
" Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. "
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Like
Humor
Battle
" What keeps me going is that young people still want to see me. "
Don Rickles
People
Want
Young
" Being in the Navy, when I came home, it changed your whole life. You're 18, you go away for two and a half years, you come home - boy, you're a different person. "
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Boy
Person
You
" After I graduated, I tried Broadway, which was difficult for me. It was tough to get a part on Broadway, so I just started talking to audiences at different social gatherings, and little by little I became Don Rickles - whatever that is. "
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Talking
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" The girls, like, in we'll say Hooters, have less clothing than the girls I worked with in those days. We thought it was wild when they just wore little bells and so forth. But today, in restaurants, some of the waitresses almost work in the nude, you know, to get business. "
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Thought
Know
Today
" Diana Krall I met in, I think it was Canada. She's a lovely lady. Her husband, Elvis Costello, is a great star. "
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She
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" I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried. "
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Navy
Last
Me