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" Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely. "

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" There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose. "

" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "

" Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. "

" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "

" Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble. "

" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "

" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "

" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "

" All the world loves a good loser. "

" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "

" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "

" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "

" Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. "

" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "

" Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable. "

" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "

" Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

" Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught. "

" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "

" A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. "

" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "

" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "

" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "

" A loafer always has the correct time. "

" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "

" I'll say this for adversity: people seem to be able to stand it, and that's more than I can say for prosperity. "

" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "

" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "

" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "

" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "