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" Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. "
Kin Hubbard
Lack
Often
Mistaken
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" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "
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" It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game. "
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Game
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Today
" Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family. "
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Head
Peace
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" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "
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Government
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" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "
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" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "
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Pet
Goldfish
Feel
" Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. "
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Lot
Men
Will
" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "
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Punished
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" The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. "
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Way
Your
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" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "
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Store
Anything
Losing
" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "
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Optimist
Fellow
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" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "
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Day
Painful
Gold
" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "
Kin Hubbard
Ignore
Fresh
Boy
" It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it. "
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Going
Earth
Fun
" When a fellow says, 'It ain't the money but the principle of the thing,' it's the money. "
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Money
Fellow
Thing
" Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt. "
Kin Hubbard
Doubt
Benefit
You
" It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him. "
Kin Hubbard
Fellow
Thinks
Knows
" After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school. "
Kin Hubbard
Him
Long
School
" Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid. "
Kin Hubbard
Credit
Some
Only
" If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation. "
Kin Hubbard
You
Vacation
Some People
" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "
Kin Hubbard
Bad
Management
Destiny
" Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely. "
Kin Hubbard
Pretty
Being
Above
" A loafer always has the correct time. "
Kin Hubbard
Correct
Always
Time
" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "
Kin Hubbard
Money
Love
Enough
" The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. "
Kin Hubbard
Entertain
Only
Some
" The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening. "
Kin Hubbard
Better
Every Day
World
" There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it? "
Kin Hubbard
You
Man
Success
" It's the good loser who finally loses out. "
Kin Hubbard
Good
Loses
Out
" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "
Kin Hubbard
Her
Cop
Smile
" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "
Kin Hubbard
Weather
Nature
People