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" An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed. "
Kin Hubbard
Optimist
Fellow
Going
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" As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith. "
Kin Hubbard
Day
Painful
Gold
" If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public. "
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Government
Something
Servant
" I don't look for much to come out of government ownership as long as we have Democrats and Republicans. "
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Government
Look
Long
" Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. "
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Some People
Honesty
People
" Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely. "
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Pretty
Being
Above
" It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. "
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Happiness
Wealth
Tell
" The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing. "
Kin Hubbard
Singing
Worst
Mother
" It's the good loser who finally loses out. "
Kin Hubbard
Good
Loses
Out
" Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. "
Kin Hubbard
Kind
Turn
Music
" The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you. "
Kin Hubbard
Ready
Fool
Everything
" There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick. "
Kin Hubbard
Ignore
Fresh
Boy
" There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them. "
Kin Hubbard
Either
Nobody
Two
" No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech. "
Kin Hubbard
Speech
Woman
Alone
" We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. "
Kin Hubbard
Politics
Vote
Like
" The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. "
Kin Hubbard
Own
Out
Just
" If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us. "
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Good Night
Night
Rest
" A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower. "
Kin Hubbard
Never
Nature
Just
" The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more. "
Kin Hubbard
You
The Hardest Thing
More
" If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. "
Kin Hubbard
Her
Cop
Smile
" Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. "
Kin Hubbard
While
Nothing
Irritating
" Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on. "
Kin Hubbard
Store
Anything
Losing
" Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny. "
Kin Hubbard
Bad
Management
Destiny
" No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. "
Kin Hubbard
Pet
Goldfish
Feel
" Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it. "
Kin Hubbard
His
Hard
Man
" The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening. "
Kin Hubbard
Better
Every Day
World
" Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. "
Kin Hubbard
Punished
Men
Them
" It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. "
Kin Hubbard
Money
Love
Enough
" Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest. "
Kin Hubbard
Nobody
Agreeable
Guest
" Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. "
Kin Hubbard
Weather
Nature
People
" Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. "
Kin Hubbard
Now And Then
Man
Innocent