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" I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. "

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" An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. "

" A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. "

" Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. "

" There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. "

" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "

" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "

" This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. "

" What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. "

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" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "

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" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "

" America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. "

" There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. "

" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "

" I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.' "

" Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. "

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" All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. "

" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "

" Things ain't what they used to be and never were. "

" People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. "