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" I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. "

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" Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. "

" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "

" The United States never lost a war or won a conference. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "

" The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. "

" Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. "

" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "

" Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. "

" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" The best way out of a difficulty is through it. "

" Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. "

" The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. "

" It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. "

" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. "

" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "

" This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. "

" Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. "

" We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. "

" We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. "

" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "

" I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "