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" People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. "

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" All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance. "

" Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs. "

" If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. "

" Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. "

" Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. "

" The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. "

" Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. "

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. "

" There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. "

" There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. "

" When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur. "

" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "

" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "

" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "

" One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. "

" It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. "

" Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.' "

" An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. "

" A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. "

" The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. "