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" Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. "

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" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. "

" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "

" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "

" The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. "

" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "

" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "

" What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. "

" An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. "

" Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. "

" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "

" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "

Political Party

" The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. "

" I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. "

" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "

" Things ain't what they used to be and never were. "

" America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. "

" The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. "

" A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you. "

" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "

" A fool and his money are soon elected. "

" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "

" It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. "

" In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. "

" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "

" One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide. "