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" What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. "

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" The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. "

" America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there. "

" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "

" There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. "

" We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. "

" The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats. "

" It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. "

" It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. "

" The United States never lost a war or won a conference. "

" In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. "

" There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. "

" People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument. "

" Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. "

" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "

" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "

" I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. "

" If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production. "

" Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. "

" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "

" Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. "

" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "

" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "

" I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. "

" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "

" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "

" The best way out of a difficulty is through it. "

" The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. "

" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "

" Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse. "

" Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. "