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" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

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" I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke. "

" I never went out looking for glory. "

" Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich. "

" I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child. "

" Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones. "

" I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. "

" Las Vegas is the boiling pot of entertainment. "

" I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning. "

" My whole act is off the top of my head. "

" Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people. Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years. He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar?' "

" It's very sweet to have people say nice things about you, and I always accept that. "

" To this day, when I say that I went to the American Academy, people are very impressed. The reputation of the school has always been fantastic. "

" I don't like to compare myself with anybody. "

" Johnny Carson was a big influence on me - all of those shows I did with him over the years, like, 100 of them, they made a bit of a name for me at the time, so that part of my life was very good. "

" When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side. "

" The thing I love about Vegas is that it's a melting pot. It's like working Ellis Island. "

" Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive. "

" After over 50 years of headlining, I've been received very beautifully. But I always say, when you're onstage, you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's OK. "

" I'm a New Yorker, originally. I was raised in Jackson Heights. I went to P.S. 148 and then Newtown High School. If World War II didn't come, I'd still be there in school. World War II saved me. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important. "

Friends And Family

" I didn't get married until I was 38. "

" Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend! "

" The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson. "

" When you first start out with something new, you're always a little uptight. "

" I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.' "

" I was a mother's boy. "

" I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness. "

" You know what's funny to me? Attitude. "

" I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative. "