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" When I'm onstage, I'm acting. "
Don Rickles
Acting
Onstage
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" Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor. "
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" When you do comedy, you can't please the world, although I'd like to think that most of my audiences were on my side. "
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" If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance. "
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" It's tough having the last name 'Rickles.' Luckily, my kids handled it great. "
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" You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. "
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" I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner. "
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" At 90, I'm still working a couple of dates a month. My mind is very sharp on the stage, so why not? This may sound corny, but I do it because people - young and old - still come to see me, and they're very enthusiastic about my work. They treat me like the Godfather. "
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" I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke. "
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" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "
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Will
Me
King
" We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't. "
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House
Said
Conservative
" Why should I retire? I'm like a fighter. The bell rings, and you come out and fight. "
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Like
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" The man I adored, and miss him terribly, was Johnny Carson. "
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Miss
Him
Johnny
" I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke. "
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Situation
Joke
I Can
" Bob Newhart, who is my best friend, is one of the guys I adore. "
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Adore
Best
" Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap. "
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Empire
Building
" To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller. "
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Good
Day
You
" An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings. "
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People
Insult
Title
" Everything I've performed has been from my own head. "
Don Rickles
My Own
Own
Head
" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "
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Day
King
Me
" I always say, when you're onstage you can't please everybody. I'm sure there are people who may not take to what I do, but that's okay. Thank God the majority are in my corner. "
Don Rickles
Say
You
Thank God
" Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it. "
Don Rickles
Me
People
Appreciate
" Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black. "
Don Rickles
Blacks
Why Not
Why
" Every night when I go out on stage, there's always one nagging fear in the back of my mind. I'm always afraid that somewhere out there, there is one person in the audience that I'm not going to offend! "
Don Rickles
Fear
Night
Mind
" Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper. "
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Down
Career
People
" The thing I love about Vegas is that it's a melting pot. It's like working Ellis Island. "
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Love
Like
Island
" Funny is funny. "
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Funny
" I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. "
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Sell
My Own
Jokes
" My whole act is off the top of my head. "
Don Rickles
Head
Off
Top
" I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness. "
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Shy
Shyness
Protect
" When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. "
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Ring
Room
Mind