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" I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck. "

Craig Ferguson

Honest

Happy

Try

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" I think that clearly it has an influence, to be coming of age during the punk rock era, to come from a difficult and sporadically violent background, to have been in and out of such chaos, I think it actually helps. But I don't know for sure. "

" The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful. "

Craig Ferguson

Upset

Awful

" The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes. "

" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "

" If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in. "

" Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. "

" A friend of mine that I was in a band with started me on Kafka, which in turn led to Camus and Sartre. "

" I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. "

Craig Ferguson

Self-Esteem

Think

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck. "

" My pilot's license. I'm proud of that. "

" I'm careful with money. "

Craig Ferguson

Careful

Money

" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.' "

" I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk. "

" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "

" I aim to please. I'm nothing if not a vaudevillian. "

" I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. "

" Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. "

" I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. "

" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "

" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "

Craig Ferguson

Talk

Want

" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "

" The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman. "

" I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel. "

" I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. "

" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

Craig Ferguson

Time

Day

" I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do. "

" I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job. "