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" If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in. "

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" For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians, the Trumps, the blowhards - going after them. We shouldn't be attacking the vulnerable. "

" Historically, when Americans don't know what to do next, they go to Paris. Benjamin Franklin is like: 'What am I going to do now? I'll go to Paris!' "

" I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.' "

" I think sometimes that people think brave means not being afraid, which of course it doesn't mean that at all. It means that you're afraid, but you move past that and do it anyway, do what you think is right. "

" You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. "

" I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living - and earning a living. "

" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "

" Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. "

" It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television. "

" When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. "

" I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, 'Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I'll get you a deal.' So I figured, 'OK, 10 days.' On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. "

" Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me. "

" I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. "

" It's like, it's kind of like if you ever had a car and it was a bit of a clunker but you love it, that's my show. It's a bit of a clunker but I know where everything is and I like it. "

" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "

" I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck. "

" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "

" I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.' It's an appropriate feeling to feel. "

" The truth is, you win the Lotto. That's really how you have to approach it. You're a lottery winner when you get a sitcom and it goes. "

" It's not that we fly by the seat of our pants. We're not afraid of failure. "

" I'm not aware of having a creepy laugh, but apparently I do. "

" I try and live my life in bite-size chunks. "

" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "

" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "

" My pilot's license. I'm proud of that. "

" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "

" I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you. "

" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "

" I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. "

" When I stopped drinking, it was only because I thought if I don't stop, I'm going to die. "