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" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "
Carol Burnett
He
Brilliant
Body
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" I never felt cynical, and I never felt that I couldn't do what I wanted to do. "
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" I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. "
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" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "
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" I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there. "
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" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "
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" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "
Carol Burnett
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" When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS. "
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" I've always been able to recount things, and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that. "
Carol Burnett
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" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "
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" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "
Carol Burnett
Door
Kind
Mirror
" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "
Carol Burnett
Think
Brilliant
I Think
" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "
Carol Burnett
Diet
Eat
I Can
" I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today. "
Carol Burnett
Stars
Time
Today
" Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. "
Carol Burnett
Famous
Celebrity
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" I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do. "
Carol Burnett
Am
I Am
Stand-Up
" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "
Carol Burnett
Way
Never
Better
" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "
Carol Burnett
Dream
Make It Happen
Know
" I'm so happy with what has happened in my life. "
Carol Burnett
Happy
Happened
My Life
" I have a great memory. "
Carol Burnett
Memory
Great
" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "
Carol Burnett
You
Welfare
Texas
" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "
Carol Burnett
Now
Guard
Circumstances
" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "
Carol Burnett
Glenn Close
Hooked
Damages
" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "
Carol Burnett
TV
Time
Be Different
" I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. "
Carol Burnett
Listen
Jokes
Tell
" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "
Carol Burnett
Movies
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Feeling
" I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.' "
Carol Burnett
New York
Remember
Me
" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "
Carol Burnett
Adolescence
Big
Just
" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "
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Like
Your
Whatever
" Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. "
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Head
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" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "
Carol Burnett
Kindness
Selfish
Help Others