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" I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home. "

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" I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. "

" Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. "

" My New Year's resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy. "

" There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. "

" I never met a kid I liked. "

" I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the years'. "

" Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. "

" Dick Clark will be truly missed. We will carry on his legacy every New Year's Eve. "

" If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind. "

" If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. "

" There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it. "

" Dinner was made for eating, not for talking. "

William Makepeace Thackeray

" What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest? "

" Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love. "

" I know. I'm lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have 'til December, right? "

Catherine O'Hara

" The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. "

Gilbert K. Chesterton

" I've had some lovely extraordinary experiences on New Year's Eve. "

" It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. "

" Celebrate what you want to see more of. "

" I like to go to parties where I know everyone. How are you going to have fun with people you don't know? "

Mary-Kate Olsen

" Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia. "

" Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. "

" My parents used to throw great New Year's Eve parties. They invited such an eclectic mix of showbiz people. All those cool people were always hanging out at our apartment. "

" What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others. "

" And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been. "

Rainer Maria Rilke

" If you want an interesting party sometime, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone. "

" Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. "

" The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. "

" All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. "

" The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. "