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" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "

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" When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged. "

" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

" I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "

" I love audiences. "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "

" I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. "

" I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. "

" I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself. "

" I eat very well, and I do Pilates. "

" When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS. "

" I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry. "

" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "

" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "

" My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run. "

" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "

" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "