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" I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts. "

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" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "

" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "

" I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will. "

" On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever. "

" I eat very well, and I do Pilates. "

" I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. "

" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "

" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "

" I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do. "

" Steve Martin in 'All of Me,' when he did that whole thing where he was possessed by the spirit in his body? It was brilliant. "

" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "

" I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry. "

" My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know? "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" I prefer doing TV, where it can be different every time. "

" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "

" I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. "

" My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run. "

" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

" I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas. "

" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "

" Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids. "