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" I'm crazy. I know I'm crazy 'cause Desmond Tutu told me, and he's very clever. He said, 'You must free yourself, be more of who you are. Be more crazy.' And I'm going to. "
Craig Ferguson
Free
Yourself
You
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" I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny. "
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" HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. "
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" I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk. "
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" If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. "
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" Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But it wasn't Scotland's fault. It was my circumstances. I was - I hate to say the word humbled - but that's what it felt like. I was wrong about this place. This is a great place full of very fun people. "
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" I proved to my own satisfaction that I am madder than I think. "
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" You know, your whole life you're concerned about money for this and that. And then you don't have to worry about it, so you worry about other stuff. "
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" Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. "
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Time
Moon
Being
" All they teach you in drama school is how to do stage fights and be a pain in rehearsals. "
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Stage
School
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" Why do people do things that they fear? It may be that the fear contains information. Something can be interesting if you get to the other side of that fear. "
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" I wanted to be a rock star. "
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" If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in. "
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" Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. "
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" I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck. "
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Honest
Happy
Try
" I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think. "
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Kind
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" It's the beauty and curse of doing a daily show. Some days you've got nothing to talk about and other days Dick Cheney shoots his lawyer in the face and everyone is happy. "
Craig Ferguson
Face
Beauty
Daily
" I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost. "
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Interest
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Else
" I've got young kids, so it suits me to do a job which keeps me in town right now. "
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" I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. "
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I Am
Late-Night
Host
" I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.' "
Craig Ferguson
High School
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" There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. "
Craig Ferguson
Pure
Life
Kind
" I'm careful with money. "
Craig Ferguson
Careful
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" I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job. "
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Looking
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" They were singing, Gillette, the best a man can get, with a lot of guys hugging their fathers and sailing and riding bikes. I suddenly felt a long way from the best a man could get and I thought it would be nice to get from there to the best. "
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Thought
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" Is it really that important? It's just television, for God's sake. It's not medicine or something. "
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Medicine
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" I come from a very critical culture. You know the Scots. They're always saying: 'Oh, no. It will never work. You'll never amount to anything. You've got to know your place in the world.' "
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World
Culture
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" I've been running my whole life. Running into bars, running around the world. But when you have a child, you can't run. That was a revelation. "
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" The idea of having Australians upset at me is just awful. "
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Upset
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" I don't get emails from my corporate overlords. "
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Get
Corporate
Emails