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" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

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" I love comedians that dive into politics. I personally don't feel comfortable, with my background, weighing in unless I have a take that I think is funny enough that I would put it in front of an audience. "

" If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious. "

" It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself. "

" They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities. "

" Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. "

" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "

" My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. "

" I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "

Robert Benchley

" I used to work over a bar. That was - there was no stage. I stood over a tiny bar. Louis Prima, rest his soul, he worked there. I was the guy that filled in when he was off the stage. "

" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "

" I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. "

" I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy. "

" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "

" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "

" Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. "

" It's funny because I've made a living off of words, but words get in the way of what you really want to say. "

" 'Funny People' is my favorite performance of myself to date. Even though it's a comedy and there are serious moments, I really felt like Leo felt like a real person. It didn't feel like I was playing myself. Whether it's a comedy or drama, I just try to make it as realistic as possible. "

" It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger. "

" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "

" I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. "

" Cure for an obsession: get another one. "

" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "

David L. Wolper

" I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. "

Charles M. Schulz

" I have never been hurt by what I have not said. "

Calvin Coolidge

" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "

" Some people call me a legend and the last of the greats, and I appreciate it. "

" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "

" I don't care if the average guy on the street really knows what I'm like, as long as he knows I'm not really a mean, vicious guy. My friends and family know what I'm really like. That's what's important. "

Friends And Family

" There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. "

" I don't say things to be offensive; I say things because they're funny to me. It amuses me. "