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" My grandchildren just know me now as Mr. Potato Head. "

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" Herb Solo at that time was the head of MGM. I said, 'I want to live like Clint Eastwood.' Did I know at that time Clint Eastwood, to him, Heaven was a truck, a dog, and a picnic basket for food or something? "

" If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance. "

" My whole act is off the top of my head. "

" I don't have regrets. I've never sat here and thought, 'Gee, if only I'd done 'The Man Who Came to Dinner' on Broadway, I would have been happier.' "

" My wife, Barbara, is great. She arranges when I do work that I have a day off between performances. "

" An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings. "

" Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" I've been to Philadelphia a lot of times over the years, playing the old Celebrity Room and most of the other clubs around there that don't exist anymore. "

" I used to work over a bar. That was - there was no stage. I stood over a tiny bar. Louis Prima, rest his soul, he worked there. I was the guy that filled in when he was off the stage. "

" I enjoy mixed audiences, not one particular group. Short, tall, scientists, Jews, gentiles, whatever, as long as they breathe and like to laugh. "

" I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.' "

" You know how a fighter always comes into the dressing room way before a fight? That's me - I'm like a fighter. "

" I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out. "

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine. "

" In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know. "

" I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that. "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" I've never gone to comedy clubs. "

" Room service is great if you want to pay $500 for a club sandwich. "

" It takes many years to be a great comedian. "

" I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people. "

" Funny is funny. "

" Alan King, a comedian I adored, was considered society, and I was considered the Jewish kid from the neighborhood. "

" I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid. "

" Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one. "

" An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth. "

" When I'm onstage, I'm acting. "

" My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king. "