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" Just telling the facts are no longer enough. You now have to be persuasive, charismatic, interesting, and funny. Just telling people things isn't enough anymore. "
" How can feminism be pro-women without being pro-motherhood? There is nothing more unique about being a woman. "
" I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. "
I Was Born
" Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. "
" It's funny to be in rooms where you were originally referred to as 'The Shakespeare Guy' and to suddenly be in the position where you're 'The Blockbuster Guy.' That's a pretty unusual turnabout, I must say. "
" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "
" He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle. "
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "
" I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it. "
" I regret behaving badly when I was younger. I did not know any better at the time. The thing is that the incidents that I caused were not funny... Youth is wasted on the young. It is better to have the wisdom of an old man in a young body... I was a bit foolish and teased people, trying to be funny. "
" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "
" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "
" In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. "
" The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness. "
" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "
" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
" There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me. "
" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "
" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "
Zora Neale Hurston
" Twitter died when the company banned me from its platform. I know that sounds egotistical. But remember what I just said. I'm right about everything. "
" Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. "
" O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. "
" Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny. "
Shah Rukh Khan
" What Trump means for us is that we've won the first battle. At a minimum, he's a necessary course correction from the excesses of the social justice Left. At most, he's the saviour of the First and Second Amendments, protector of the Supreme Court, and champion of the little guy. In other words, just what America needed. "
" I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on. "
" Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. "
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "
" Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax. "
" Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. "
" If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. "
Laurence J. Peter
" I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. "