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" It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing. "

Zora Neale Hurston

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" I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. "

" My mother was a nurse, and in her era, most diseases weren't understood; people put mustard plasters on knees and rubbed camphor on your chest if you had a cough and did funny things to you if you had tuberculosis - all these things that really made very little difference once proper treatments were brought in. "

" But for the national welfare, it is urgent to realize that the minorities do think, and think about something other than the race problem. "

Zora Neale Hurston

" Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. "

" Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective. "

" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "

William Lyon Phelps

" I did 'Love's Labour's Lost' in the theater and found it to be riotously funny. "

Kenneth Branagh

" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "

" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

" If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. "

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! "

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? "

" I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. "

" I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation. "

" When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. "

" He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle. "

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "

George Jean Nathan

" You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things. "

" There is a saying that if you get something for free, you should know that you're the product. It was never more true than in the case of Facebook and Gmail and YouTube. You get free social-media services, and you get free funny cat videos. In exchange, you give up the most valuable asset you have, which is your personal data. "

Yuval Noah Harari

" It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing. "

" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "

" Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing. "

" Too much agreement kills a chat. "

Eldridge Cleaver

" The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. "

Thomas A. Edison

" What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. "

" Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace. "

" Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. "

" My mama never wore a pair of pants when I was growing up, and now that's all she wears. It was so funny for me when I first started seeing Mama wear pants. It was like it wasn't Mama. Now I've bought her many a pantsuit because she just lives in them. "