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" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

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" A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "

" I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher. "

" One picture is worth 1,000 denials. "

Picture Is Worth

" Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation. "

" He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. "

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "

" A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. "

" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "

" I saw a stationery store move. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "

" It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. "

" I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body. "

Kristen Stewart

" I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke. "

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. "

" If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. "

" I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny. "

" Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. "

" I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. "

" Macho does not prove mucho. "

" I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that. "

Khloe Kardashian

" Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. "

Benjamin Franklin

" When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. "

" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "

" Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. "

" The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "

" When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. "

" I have really fond memories of growing up in Chicago, and I always love going back. I still have a lot of really good friends from high school that I go to dinner with. It's kind of become a tradition when I go out there to do a show to give a few friends a call, tell some funny stories about high school and walk down memory lane. "

" It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?' "